What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?
14.06.2025 03:18

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”
What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?
Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.
How can you tell if someone is cunning?
So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.
Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?
Do you know what she said mum?
Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!
About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.
She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”
True - how I loved my mum!
What! how could you do that?
Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”
Why do White people love dogs more than humans?
My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”
“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”
Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.
What do you respect the most about Elon Musk?
What do you mean son?